Hi Anita, thank you for responding, yes I am fully aware of how serious her disease is, I have seen how it affects her, when she came to stay with me we went to the cinema one day, and 15 minutes into the movie I virtually had to carry her out of the cinema because one of her legs became paralyzed. She was first diagnosed at the age of 30, she is now 39, ALS might not be the correct diagnosis but it’s the closest thing the doctors where able to label it as. She has had many problems with her limbs, she used crutches for a long time until she started the experimental treated, which helped with that, as well as paralysis in her arms, eyes and tongue.

Over the past 3 months one of her lungs has stopped working 4 times, and recently she has had very bad difficulty breathing in that time. In one of the recent arguments, we had to stop because she was struggling to breath whilst we were talking on the phone. It really hurts me that she has to live like that. I know it will kill her, she has been getting worse since I met her, but it doesn’t stop me from loving her the way I do, I can’t save her, nobody can. She accepted that a long time ago, and I do too. It does make her suicidal sometimes. I fully acknowledge and take responsibility for my actions on the 30th March, I massively overreacted and I let my emotions take over. It was selfish and irresponsible, and I let myself and her down, especially considering the progress I have made with my own personal development.