Dear Riya:

I have read the stories of hundreds of women in these forums, as I participate here every day for almost five years. As I read your post I was impressed by how reasonable you are, how fair you were with this man, how assertive, keeping your priorities in mind, and overall your level of maturity and reasonable thinking is rare in my experience, for a woman of any age!

Reads to me that he is not mentally healthy. In other words, he is not well: he has shown not only an anger problem: becoming abusive when angry, but also a dishonestly manipulative streak as to not eat so that he contact you more often and get your attention. If he replaced you with another woman, it is fortunate that he did, fortunate for you, that is.

If I was you, I would resume with him the same relationship you had with him earlier than last year at this time: “we never had any great interaction before it was just all.. casual meetings…. we have always been like strangers”.

This was your first relationship, so please don’t lose your mental health and reasonable thinking following this one short relationship with a man who is not well. You deserve so much better than this: a relationship with a man who will match your level of health and maturity, reasonable thinking and assertiveness.

The woman he is engaged to, maybe she will be okay with him, but I don’t think you would be okay if you married him: if you married him your advantages in life would have been lost. Congratulations for breaking up with him: there are better things awaiting you in life, on the other side of the pandemic.

Post again any time you want to post.

anita