Yes, you summarized it perfectly.
Great input too. However, at work, she is actually the least favorited superior among all (we have three). Many shared the same opinion of her: questionable communication and leadership skills.
You are right about the fact that I’m just filling the gaps in her life, nothing more… It’s a bitter pill to swallow.
According to her it was selfish of me to even expect reciprocation so I just stopped trying.
I often visited her family and it doesn’t seem to me that the relationship she has with her parents is troubled – quite a close-knit family. She was a rebellious teen though, as she shared with me, and because of that her mom used to hit her a lot. She also said, in the past, her elder sister and brother were the favorite children.
Speaking of which, a few days prior to her wedding, I was at her home hanging out with her family. Her mom then pulled me aside and asked, “so what do you think of her husband?” I was taken aback but knew where the conversation was going because she has told me before that her husband is not well liked by her family. I didn’t comment much and just listened to what her mom said. She expressed her worries, saying how disrespectful he is towards the elders, rude to her daughter, bad manners, etc., but what concerns her the most is how she keeps spending her money.
Her husband’s mom doesn’t like her as well… what a tragic.
But anita, how do I look at this whole situation objectively? For example, if I feel like she has been taking advantage of my feelings and manipulating me, how do I know for sure that this is the case and not just because I’m hurt?
I’m moving forward. I understand it takes tremendous courage and willpower to keep moving forward. But how do I keep this going, keep treating her like I would any of my coworkers, nothing less and nothing more? What if she plays any mind games again? Because she knows exactly what buttons to push.
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 