Dear anonymous03,

I’m terribly sorry for replying so so late. I’m dealing with walking my own path, finding myself and treating me like a human being that I am hehe ;P

Listen, all these thoughts could potentially be ocd related. The factors that would actually categorize it is ocd are: frequency of occurrence (ruminating constantly on a loop), levels of distress being created by those thoughts and behavioral patterns of doing or avoiding doing certain things in order to insure that the thougts in your mind won’t actualize in reality. I.e. If I drink from the mug A gifted me, I will forever lose him. Or, A was right about that thing so that means he is right about us and I was wrong so I have to search youtube for “10 signs he truly loves you” to confirm because if I don’t my anxiety will kill me…. I hope I make sense.

I would like to point out to you that you don’t have to think those things and this YOU HAVE TO POINT OUT TO YOURSELF whenever a thought occurs. If you have ocd, I know who bs this sounds but with us ocd people, ACCEPTANCE is our real struggle. And you have to move on. For the time being focus on, well, just being. You don’t have to make any plans, decisions or even get closure, or get to know what really happened in the past. You are not a fly on the wall of the past. It is done. Please, also consider that A might have been gaslighting you, since I can read a complete surrendering to being the sole cause of all this on your part.

I’ll be waiting your reply!

Much support,

Sofioula

P. S. Check out Gangaji on YouTube. She really helped me refocus my mind.