Dear Liz:

You are very welcome and thank you for expressing your appreciation.

“There was a lot of anger and shame in that house”, and fear. When a child experiences the kind of home you experienced, time takes on a different quality: it feels endless. It doesn’t flow. I remember, it feels suffocating, and you want to escape it, but you’re immobilized, unable to move.. fear is like a heavy, suffocating blanket making breathing difficult. I am describing my experience in such a home.

Growing up in a home like this, you  keep wanting those moments of before, sometime long before and those moments from time to time, when the sun feels so new and inviting and the air is cool and fresh, and that youthful joy of life flows out, But in between these moments,  there are those endless traps of timeless misery.

Healing takes processing those distressing emotions under that figurative heavy, suffocating blanket  until we free them from being trapped under that blanket, and they dissipate and disperse into the wide expanse of air above.

Do what it takes to heal, be it in AA, therapy, meditating, etc., and you are welcome to express these emotions here, if typing words helps you with this kind of processing.

anita