You have 3 options ..

(1) leave you husband and rebuild your life . You children are smart and know all is not perfect and will understand .

(2) work with your husband to repair the marriage . This is hard work , but you are both damaged people ( as we are all) , so good communication and honesty may lead to a place where you both work hard for to say the marriage .

(3) Accept your husband for who he is , don’t try and change him. Be the calm observer of you marriage . Let him be , accept and love him for who he is flaws and all. This allows you to accept the current moment as if you had chosen it .

The important point is you must accept one of these paths and pursue it with energy and focus . Jumping from one to the other puts you and all around you into an ever ending spiral .

Always remember that all marriages are similar , the are daily struggles and joys . The tricks is which of the 3 paths you chose .