Juanita
Doing a Marie Kondo on your thoughts and emotion is wise. We all have limited ability to focus so we must choose carefully what we focus on, not wasting our life energy on stuff we can’t influence.  I know the previous generation were loath to use the word “love” and to hug. I grow up in such a home but love was implicit . It is most likely your mother is damaged ( as we all are in some way) and is not capable of showing you love, though it is likely deep down she does love you. As Anita says , accepting the truth is freedom.

It Is not clear if you have children , but being friends with your estranged husband is good because of the shared history.

Have you read Eckhart Tolle’s “The Power of Now” , it is so liberating as it explains how the mind always seeks our attention , preventing us from enjoying the current moment in all its beauty and simplicity .

Tony