Dear Crawford:

I like the way you express yourself, you have a good understanding of your father. You probably understand him better than he understands himself. But unfortunately, because he has been this way for decades, from the time before you came into his life, he is very unlikely to change. Your bitterness over him being emotionally unavailable will lessen if you no longer hope for him to be any different.

Your bitterness over having been denied your emotions by your parents will lessen as you express your emotions to people who are emotionally available  and healthy outside your home of origin.

“with his emotional distance together with the bitterness makes the effort feel like lifting a million kilos with only hopes as result”- good imagery: trying to change your father is like lifting a million kilos, impossible for you and impossible for any human!

Keep your expectations very low regarding the talk you plan to have with him. I hope you post about that talk, I would like to read about it.

anita