Hi Anita,

I would say the second option is the most likely one. As far as i could understand, his mother was very strict, she pushed him after high school into a business school, she is stuck to the rules and she was the one who “attacked” him on his apparence (which isn’t masculine enough for her apparently).  His father is the “cool” figure indeed, however he’s not often at home because of his job.

In addition, “my” boy is the elder of three children. I would say he has the maturity of a big brother but deep inside he’s still a young kid who had to grow up faster because of the responsibilities which were imposed by his parents regarding his younger brother and sister maybe? These are only suppositions.

I know he has a lot of issues to accept himself and honestly i’m glad that he never thought about staying with me in order to just flatter his ego, he never tried to lower me either.

He told me when we talked about his issues that he felt extremely apathetic and when he said that i knew it would affect what he felt for me. This was one of the reasons i asked him if he wanted space and alone time, like i told him, i really didn’t want that he felt the potential relation became a burden during this hard time.

Why did he refuse to give to himself time and space while he told me that in order to rest he needed to be alone? Why did he push himself in a situation where he wasn’t comfortable? Why i feel like he was extremely concerned by the commitement? I mean, he knew i didn’t want a summer fling or a hookup, but once again, i told him i wasn’t expecting from him a proposal, i just wanted to take it very slow and easy regarding the circumstances and.. yeah, for me, being slow at the beginning, is the only way to try out if something with someone has a real potential or no.

He knew we had/have a strong connection, he acknowledged it as well. Everything was new for both of us as it was the first time i could spend that much time talking with someone and the most important, that was the very first time i felt comfortable and confident with someone that quick and so did he according to himself. I was ready to support him no matter what would be his decision if he wanted whether to temporary stop or no, he knew it. How comes in a few days, he could gift me a big box of chocolates, consider with his friends that we were a “serious thing” and all of sudden decide he “didn’t feel comfortable” and that “the honeymoon phase was over” while it didn’t even start at all (from a very down to earth point of view)?

Some of my friends told me that maybe he just didn’t feel comfortable to be in a relationship at all due to his issues and that would have nothing to see with me. I don’t think i forced him into something he would feel uncomfortable as i asked him many times if he was sure about his decision.

I really don’t get his current attitude either. How comes last week we talked everyday many hours per day, everything was super nice, friendly and flirty at the same time and suddenly he’s very distant? I would have understood if we got bored but the point is, we were far the be bored as last time we got a long talk we stayed to talk from 4:00pm until 1:30am in non-stop..

What am i supposed to do now? I feel like i did everything i could do, i don’t want to lose him but i don’t know what are his positions toward me and i don’t think he really knows himself to be honest..