Dear Marnia:

Reads to me that he unconditionally loves you as a friend, and that is very different from and much easier than loving you as an intimate partner/ girlfriend.

I think that he “is able to conceal his romantic feelings for” you because these are not strong feelings (this is why he was inclined to focus on his career). On the other hand, your romantic feelings for him are strong (this is why you were inclined to focus on the relationship).

“I can’t appreciate him enough… I’d even say his love may be more unconditional than my own”- seems to me that you put him and his friend-love toward you on a pedestal, seeing his love as more than it is. In your quest to let go of him, it will help if you take him off the pedestal. Don’t see him as more (or less) than he is, and don’t see his love as  more than that friend-love that it is, if indeed that’s all that it is.

It is easy to say loving words, to express loving emotions during short, limited period of times on the phone, or during limited-time visits. It is way, way more difficult and challenging to love a person in practice, while living together. So take him off the pedestal as a start. Do I make sense to you?

anita