Hi Pete,

Fellow animal lover here. I’m so sorry for your profound loss. I just wanted to reach out to express my condolences and to say THANK YOU for giving your cat what were undoubtedly the best 2+ years of his life. I have so much gratitude for you, and I don’t even know you. If a stranger can feel this without knowing you, I can assure you that your cat had an infinite amount of gratitude and appreciation for you; you gave him the life he always deserved.

I relate very personally to your story. A week after moving to NY my first cat—Henry—found me on a street in Brooklyn. He was the coolest and quickly became my best friend. About six months later, I adopted a second cat to give Henry some company while I was at work, and thus we welcomed Vika into our family. Vika was—and is—a much more typical cat, but Henry charmed the hearts of people who’d say things like “I never wanted a cat, but I’d have one if he could be like Henry” after meeting him.

We had 7 glorious years together. Then one day I came home and immediately knew something wasn’t right with Henry. I grabbed him in my arms and ran around trying to find a vet that was open since it was a holiday. I finally succeeded, and while walking there he looked up at me, rested his head on my hands, and then died in my arms.

The rest of that day—week even—is a blur. For the next two months I had crying fits just when I thought I might finally be okay. The grief we experience—it’s a sign of how much we loved these little guys. Maybe they saved us as much as we saved them. I cry as I type this even though Henry’s death occurred about 1.5 years ago.

In closing, I want to leave you with a sentiment from Nora McInerny, who said something to the effect of “we don’t move on from grief, we move forward with it.” (There’s a TED Talk on it that’s worth your time if you’re so inclined.)

“We don’t move on from grief, we move forward with it.” I’ll always love and miss Henry, just as you will always love and miss your cats and dog. The pain becomes less acute over time. I’m not sure it ever fully goes away (sometimes I cry still just thinking of that one), but that love—those scars, those testaments to all the messiness and affection of the bond that binds two creatures for the short time they coexist in each other’s space while on this planet—stays with us forever, and our grief is a great, visceral testament to it.

So sorry once again for your loss. Grieve and mourn for as long as you need and in whatever ways you need. And then take that love and honor it. There are lots of ways to do so, but doing for other animals what you did for your cat is absolutely one of them: loving them unconditionally and giving them the best lives possible during the short time they’re here (and I am certain they will return the gesture).

Sending you lots of love and good energy from NY (and Vika says hello too!). Take care, Pete, and be well.

🙏❤️

• This reply was modified 4 years, 4 months ago by John.