I think sometimes we do enable our adult children too much. Part of this might be our own codependence, maybe our guilt, maybe our shame, maybe something else. That butterfly article meant a lot to me also. I am working on not trying to be the person who is overly helpful and takes away the initiative and the struggle. When we overly give or overly help, then we are actually saying to the person that they can’t handle their own problems. This creates low self esteem in them and anger (at themselves and at the world). I do sometimes help my adult kids when they absolutely need it but I wait and wait and make sure my motives are pure, helpful, and good for them. It is hard. You obviously love your daughter and son. Sometimes we parents have the myth that our kids have to be perfect and so when they struggle, we try to take away that struggle so they are still perfect. No one is perfect though. I have watched several of my adult kids go through mental health challenges and I have had to sit on my hands through much of it (except when they were talking suicide and then I jumped into action). Be kind to yourself and make the focus of your life on you now. You deserve to be focused on you. Hugs to you.