I am wondering if your mom has some undiagnosed mental illness, or maybe even diagnosed? The things you describe, the mood swings, the irrationality, the accusations are not normal everyday human behavior. If she is past age 60, and this is new behaviors, this could be dementia. If you mother has something wrong in her brain to make her unstable or irrational, then you may want to limit your connection if there is nothing you can do to improve things. I do not like estrangement as an option because I think it hurts both the parent and the adult child. Not talking about abusive situations where the parent harms the child. Just talking about difficult people. Your mother may just be a difficult person. Can you accept her for how she is and then deal with her in a way that supports yourself? Screaming and throwing a rock sound like perhaps a person with a brain health disorder. This situation of your mother is likely not fixable by yourself. So how does one deal with difficult people? We can choose to limit contact, we can argue and cause problems with them, we can set boundaries, and maybe we need to accept that they are not “right” and can’t help themselves. You have learned much about yourself but know it is hard to set boundaries and it can be very hard to accept our parents as being flawed or difficult or damaged people. But accepting people for who they are is key to our own happiness in life. As long as we expect others to act in a certain way or talk in a certain way, then we feel great disappointment when they don’t. And sometimes we have to accept that our parents have their own character or personality limitations. They are simply flawed because all humans have flaws and problems. Sometimes we have to change how we react and how we set our expectations. Sometimes we have to accept that the parental love we had hoped for or wanted is not within our parent’s capability. We can love flawed people without pretending what they did was okay or perfect or that we are safe with them. So once you think this out and maybe even look into mental illness or dementia, you can decide what works best for you. You can tell mom you will call her every month but you think her texting as much as she does is obnoxious or whatever you feel. You can set limits with her but expect her not to obey them either because she won’t or can’t. Both of my parents were flawed human beings and I decided to just love them and forgive them when I was in my late twenties. I accepted who they were and it made it easier to put up with their aggressive ways. My in-laws were very narcissistic and demeaned my partner all the time until and we finally changed how we reacted and thought when he got counseling and we realized we could love them but not like them. This is about us changing our perspective not about us changing them. That doesn’t work and if your mother has some kind of brain health disorder, then her dysfunctional life and thinking will impact your relationship with her. Sometimes the adult child becomes the mature one, and has to parent the parent later on in life when the parent can’t function at all any longer. Life gives us many lessons and you already have great insight and wisdom.