Thanks for responding so quickly! Like most people, I focus on the things I don’t have, as opposed to the things I do have. So I’ve been fixated on this fractured relationship for 7 years.

It’s not the fact he’s been married many times, it’s the fact he won’t be upfront about it. We wish we could have a more honest relationship. Plain and simple, I don’t trust him.

In general, I’m a quiet, reflective person, for better or for worse. So they (my parents) wouldn’t notice anything different about me. My mom once said I use to be “really happy” and be less introverted. Imagine she thinks it has to do with adolescence in general and is oblivious to what happened.

The ‘daddy’s girl’ image is really a facade, something we wish was sincere. I’m  attracted to older, broken men ever since. Older men represent “A ‘second chance’ to love and care for someone again. To forgive someone for their past failed relationships, to be a daughter and a lover “.  Not necessarily marry, just to be in a long term relationship with him. Despite their flaws, I will love him wholly as he will love me wholly, despite my flaws.

When I heard the news, I felt lonely, felt I had no one to talk to. I’m still a “real quiet… usually quiet” girl. But most of the time, I’m solitary by choice, though I do feel lonely sometimes. My parents do love me, but if I were to tell them this news, they will not love me the same. I imagine we can still have a relationship based on mutual respect, but that “love” will be gone. So, yes, there will be rejection. I was “puzzled”, but not shocked, considering my dad is an attractive man. The news made sense, allowing the “dots to be connected.” Yet I felt ever more confused. Not to mention undergoing puberty in general.

But you’re right, it was alarming. And guessing I’ve fixated on it, as I’ve felt not truly loved ever since. And the love of an older man will help fill that void that was lost in both of us.

If my mother came out with this news, I’d probably try and find a mother figure, in the form of an older, broken woman. And probably have my dad as an afterthought. I’d be angry at my mother and fixate on her. So yes, a father figure would be the closest thing to love I could imagine.

Overall, it’s mostly correct, and thank you anita for the guidance given.

Suzanne.