Suzanne, you wrote “The ‘daddy’s girl’ image is really a facade, something we wish was sincere. I’m  attracted to older, broken men ever since. Older men represent “A ‘second chance’ to love and care for someone again. To forgive someone for their past failed relationships, to be a daughter and a lover “.  Not necessarily marry, just to be in a long term relationship with him. Despite their flaws, I will love him wholly as he will love me wholly, despite my flaws.”

This right here is the codependency in you. The older men who are so called broken may not be able to be fixed by you and likely won’t be able to give you the love you seek. We do not have the power to fix or change other people. We do this fixing stuff so that we feel good about ourselves inside our heads. Someone who is broken, someone who is codependent, may not be able to love as wholly as you want. Rather, this whole paragraph is what is often called a fallacy or illusion of control. We think we will fix this man or woman and make a happy life. But we do not have this power. I keep saying this, but we have to fix ourselves and work on attracting an emotionally healthy partner. Sometimes when we grow up with a controlling and dysfunctional parent, we will do the same behaviors they did. We mimic their behaviors because we don’t know any better. What I am suggesting is learning to know better and do better and not have an emotional need or fallacy of thinking that we can have pure, always perfect, whole love from any person who is emotionally damaged or broken. Just something to think about.