Dear Lea:

In your quest to understand him/ people better, to dig deeper into their motivations and states of mind, you have to go slower in your learning, let ideas and understandings sink in, deeper, before jumping to the next idea and the next. The H of the ADHD you mentioned, the Hyperactive element is in your way. So do what you can do to slow down, not rush.

Also, you can’t learn about him/ other people without learning about yourself. The two go together: learning about him and learning about yourself. It is easier to dig into  others’ brains and to keep your own protected from being explored. But it is not effective because you end up with an intellectual/ academic exercise and nothing sinks in, no real/ lasting understanding results.

anita