Dear anita.

Will sure give it a try. “I would like to be in a relationship with a middle aged man.” This middle aged man will be, well, middle aged. Has to be at least 40. And no older than 60. Preferably my mom’s age or older.

He’ll be the “silver fox.” You know, hair all gray or all white.  He can have the “salt and pepper” look. Can be bald/balding. To be honest, I don’t care. He can be clean shaved/have stubble/have a beard. Not too fussed about it. And I don’t care if he’s wrinkly and/or sagging. To be honest, it’s kind of hot. I’m pretty sure he’ll be taller than me, as most men are. Have to admit, he will look similar to my dad.

He’ll be a gentleman. Someone polite. He doesn’t have to be “useful” around the house. He doesn’t have to be a handyman or be hyper masculine. He’ll be kind, sensitive, understanding. Someone who understands boundaries. Of course, I want him to be able to stand up for me when I’m unable to. To be honest, I’ll treat him like an “emotional crutch.” Kind of like how a child treats a toy. Someone who’ll never talk back. Someone who’ll never disagree with me. Some who’ll never hurt me. Someone I’ll turn to when I feel overwhelmed. And most importantly, he’ll never leave me.

Our relationship will resemble something of a mentor and protégée. He’ll teach me “the ropes” and my job is to overcome them. Whether it is work, life, social, or whatever. He’s stable (both emotionally and financially). He will be my “rock.” And I’ll give him excitement. Bursts of color he’s been missing. Show him how to love again. How to have fun. How to learn new things. But I’m not trying to change him. I will love him no matter what.

And I’m sure you’re wondering about the sex. Of course, it’ll be great. It doesn’t have to be wild. He will teach me how to be better. Someone who knows what he’s doing. He won’t treat me like a “conquest.” Like how most young guys treat young women. He’ll appreciate me. He won’t take for granted being with a much younger partner. We’ll be physically close, even without sex. Lots of warm hugs. Just being close, in general. Dancing together will be a romantic gesture. Looking into his eyes and seeing everything. Being in his arms will feel like I have the power of the entire universe within me. When I’m with him I feel everything, but in a good way. Love, joy, anger, confusion, sadness, disbelief, etc. At the end of the day, I want to feel adored. I want to be admired.