Hello Anita,

I’ve been thinking about your answer for the past few days. That’s an interesting point, and even though I came to the conclusion that I don’t feel that i’m having unrealistic expextations (I totally get it that other people can’t be always 100% with their affection or love and that they have a life besides me too) but that would be an interesting point to discuss with a therapist. Because I never know if my boundaries are right or too much. So you might be right.

What was bothering me with him was more him blowing hot and cold and never talking about his feelings when he didn’t have any issue to do so at the beginning and never had any problem to tell me that he loves this person or that female friend very much. When he is cold and unattentive, it really makes me uncomfortable, I don’t know why. It feels like I’ve done something wrong when he is actually just tired or not willing to make efforts (so is he faking it?).

I ended things by text with him and I feel awful about that but I couldn’t say it face to face because each time I see him, I feel love and I’m not strong enough to have this difficult discussion. Also I know he will probably won’t put much effort in communicating about that, he usually shuts himself up and goes somewhere else.

His behavior was so much different, it felt like he was avoiding me, and that he didn’t care anymore (wouldn’t make any effort to actually have a nice conversation, stopped asking how I was or felt, left me on read for ages, left his phone on flight mode… all things very much unusual for him). So I told me that it would be best to end things and maybe stop contacting each other because that was painful. He said that wasn’t over for him and still wanted to see me. He got me confused once again. So I told him about the recent time when he answered my questions about his feelings with ” I really care about you” and as I told him a few months earlier, O really want to be with someone who loves me deeply and sees a future with me. He stopped replying.

So we are both hurting now 🙁 but I guess it’s probably best to end it now. I’ve spend the first 30 years of my life without hearing any loving words and I’m not willing to put up with the same kind of silent relationship.