Dear Lara:

You are welcome. You wrote that you don’t see why he would be angry with you (and therefore punish you with silence) because you were “always happy to see him, easy going, light and smiling, showering him with affection and attention”- it could be then that he didn’t feel that he has to pretend and be nice so to get your positive attention to him. It is only when you threatened to stop that positive attention, that he changed overwhelmingly.. for a while.

Similar to him being rude to waiters and cashiers, he figures they are going to serve him anyway, so why bother pretending to be nice. I am getting a feeling that my current understanding is accurate (?)

The reason I used the verb pretend is that it is not natural for him to be nice and affectionate and attentive, not with service people (waiters etc.) and not with the woman in his life. When he is nice and attentive it is when he puts much effort in it, effort against his natural tendency. What do you think?

anita