Thank you for the tips but mostly thank you for being here. I will definitely try to find mindful exercises to practice on a daily basis. Also, English isn’t my mother tongue and for a longtime it was easier for me to communicate in a “normal” way with this language as i wasn’t fluent enough to think and talk at the same rhyme as with my first language. The more i become fluent the more my hyperactivity catch me up when i speak English. Honestly studying in a foreign language is a great thing for me because it forces me to slow down and think more before talking.

“His OCD ruined his initial spontaneity. It happened not necessarily because he felt that you and him were getting serious, but because it takes OCD time before it inserts itself into a new territory.” => I see. Also, could it be possible that through a therapy an intrusive thought toward a past situation could be “erased” or at least turned into a positive one?

– How OCD’s people can love someone? I saw it with him, no matter how good will be the connection with the other, how much in common you have and how strong is the physical attraction, it seems that the mechanism of intrusive thoughts will always be the one to have the advantage over a situation (although, i’m aware that my case has to be weighted due to his issues and their consequences).

– You said in a message above that “being in a relationship with me was dangerous for him”, “him and me” was a situation and therefore he perceived the danger of it. How could it be explained the fact that we keep talking very often (less lately as he has started his classes a few days ago) and everytimes a lot (in average between 3 and 6h without any interruption)? I would tend to say that i would represent a potential threat as well because “the relationship” and “him and me”directly involve me. As he withdraws himself from each dangerous situations, it would have been normal for him to “erase” me from his life, no? Not only we often reach out but our conversations are the same as when we decided to give a try and from even before we knew we were into each others.

I don’t have and i never had any intentions to try to fix him nor to help him. The only positive lesson i got from my first ex-boyfriend was the certainty that it’s not possible for me to save someone, no matter how hard i love this person. They are the only ones who can do it. Listen to him when he wants to talk is all i can do. I know it and it’s sometimes hard to admit we are helpless in front of our loved-ones who are struggling. The only thing i can do is to get myself informed in order to understand what he’s going through and to get some peace of mind.

• This reply was modified 4 years, 4 months ago by Lea.