Dear Hector:

You wrote regarding the four years you attended law/ marketing school, that your brother stayed at home “doing nothing but gaming, partying, playing sports”, and you wrote: “I cannot understand why my parents did not intervene more, but that is another matter“-

– But it is not another matter. Nor is the question of why your parents did not parent you and your brother well and why they didn’t supervise you “another matter”.

It is what children do: take responsibility for everything wrong that happens in their lives as children, relieving their parents from any responsibility. It is as if a child is supposed to know right-and-wrong, without any guidance. Or even worse: parents can behave in harmful ways toward each other and toward their children, and yet, they expect their children to.. miraculously be unaffected by what they witness.

Your tendency, Hector, is to focus on what you did and how what you did harmed others. You focus on one corner of the big picture. The “sign to move on” (in the title of your thread: “Wanting a sign to move on”) is in seeing the bigger picture. You may not want to look at the bigger picture, it may not feel good, but it is necessary.. if you want that sign.

And so, you are welcome to tell me about your home life (that which you referred to as “another matter”, and which I say, may matter significantly).

anita