Dear Anita,

It’s not like that. It’s much more subtle.

Percentage-wise I would say it’s probably 55-60 percent of the level in your text. My father has always been odd, but it does get more severe as he ages.

Both of them, when arguing, would at times invoke arguments about one another’s family.
As a mother she has been kind mostly, except for some yelling when she was distressed (and probably depressed). Some good memories do exist, like the times she would join me or my brother in bed after a bad dream until we were asleep.

I don’t think she can be called oppressive. More entitled, I ‘d say. From what I have discerned over the years I think she’s alwats projected her happiness on the classic instruments of a good, strong husband, a very nice house and a socialle desirable circle of friends. When she realised this was not the case, she started finding reasons external of her own, instead of reframing her happiness.