Dear Gregory:

You are welcome, and thank you for being the kind person that you are!

Good thing you paid the money directly to the school account and getting bank slips for the payments. I hope you visited the school as well, to see that they are using the money for your son/ the children’s benefit.

It is also good that there are people you trust over there, where your son lives, and that you ask them on a daily basis about how your son is treated. I like what the boy told you, the one who stayed with you in Juba this year: “I can’t keep quiet if I see anything wrong being done to your son”. I hope he watches your son frequently, talks to him, see how other children and adults are treating him.

Also good to read that the other children in your aunt’s house are also not related to her by blood, so your son is not different that way. I don’t believe of course, that a child should be treated as less-than because of blood relations, but that’s how some people think, unfortunately.

You are wise to state this: “I’m not sure because we all don’t know what is in somebody’s heart”- whatever is in your aunt’s heart (or in anyone’s heart), what’s most important is that in her actions, in her words, her tone of voice, she expresses affection and patience with your son, gentle discipline, nothing harsh (no yelling, no beatings, no insulting words, etc.)

I like it that your aunt warned you about not having your son visit you in Juba so to protect him from his mother (and grandmother, on his mother’s side), considering that “the judge could stand with her”.

How exciting that you will soon see your son in person. When you visit him, watch him closely, listen to him. If you ask him a question, asking him a short question, just one and wait for an answer, if he doesn’t answer don’t ask  him again. Wait and ask him later, in another way, while playing maybe, when he is calm. As you know, young children don’t communicate like adults do.

“I know my blood son missed me and I missed him too! I want his love and he needs  my love and care”- beautiful to read.

anita