Dear Aum:

I think that you have a good understanding of your situation.

“I don’t really know what to do from here, I’m quite heartbroken and sort of just going through the motions of life right now.  It doesn’t feel good or right. I feel like I have no right to complain though, since I made the decision to walk away”-

– what you told him, according to your original post is: “I told him that we needed a break, a separation”- you didn’t tell him for how long that break or separation will be, you didn’t decide yet on how long it will be (did you?). You can make this decision today, or tomorrow, sometime soon.

If you decide to resume the relationship, resume it with having different expectations and attitude: be clear regarding what you expect from him, make sure these are realistic and fair expectations, such that he is able to meet.

Regarding an attitude change, because he has been a good, honest, supportive man to you for years,  consider the attitude described in the following quote from the bible (I am not religious but the bible has some good points here and there): “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight  in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres” (1 Corinthians 13: 4-7)

anita