Dear Suzanne:

You are welcome.

“character isn’t words; character is actions”- more accurately, a good character is when there is a close enough fit between a person’s words and a person’s actions. Listen to their words and observe their action- and you will know their character.

“there’s a thrill of ‘going against the grain.’ To do something taboo. But there’s still the element of love, bonding, trust”- if a person had a choice between (1) thrill and (2)  love-bonding-trust, a person will always choose love-bonding-trust, each and every time.

It is when a person is lacking love-bonding-trust in his or her life, that he/ she will choose the thrill because the choice then is between (1) thrill, and (3) void/ nothing.

“Yes, it’s sick for a man to take advantage of a vulnerable, sad girl.. But in all honesty, there’s an element of wanting to be taken advantage of. Wanting to feel validated. For a moment, she can receive a love she’s never been given”-

– the “love she’s never been given” is the void/ nothing that I mentioned above. Your thrill about being with a much older man was born out of the void of being unloved, out of the void of not having love-bonding-trust in your young life.

In your definition of “Daddy issues”, you wrote: “someone (usually a female) who has experienced physical or emotional abuse and/ or abandonment by a father”-

– can you next define for me the nature of the physical or emotional abuse and/ or abandonment that you experienced by your father?

anita