In my last relationship, I spent a lot of time trying to bring things up and do a lot of talking, always taking the emotional lead, always trying to pull everyone back to center. It wasn’t my fault but it never made anything better. In my current relationship, I focus on being accepting and loving to people AS THEY ARE and then focus on myself and setting boundaries around how other people’s emotions impact me. So if my boyfriend is struggling with being really grumpy one day instead of trying to coax it out of him WHY I just let him know he is so loved and accepted and give him space. If though his grumpy mood is going to keep me from doing an activity I had planned etc I also might ask him to go home or do something without him etc. This kind of balance between acceptance and then gentle boundaries for myself has created SO MUCH trust. Like it is insane how just be creating space for him to have difficult emotions has allowed him to share them with me.  I have a list of my own red flags now too when i’m feeling pushy and feeling like I need to over-focus on him etc I know I need to just freeze and go inward. Anyway, all that to say it took me about 4 decades to learn how to create space for a man like that. I don’t know if any of that will help but it’s my experience that feels somewhat related. I definitely have growing to do but i’m self observant at the level I can now ‘notice’ when i’m focusing on someone elses inner work and need to back off them and just love them and continue to set boundaries only around how it impacts me. Also big rumblings in relationship arent always bad but I would think he needs to lead the next emotional part and some people need a TON of time and space and support to step into that.