You sound like such a beautiful soul. We are all flawed in our own ways, but it is good that you did some reflecting on your relationship. That is necessary work on the road to healing.
I’m going to be very honest:
1) Your ex sounds like a narcissist/taker
2)Your bandmate is not your friend
3) The pandemic did not have anything to do with her selfishness. Her true self would’ve been revealed at one point or another.
4) Move on the best way you can
It sounds like your ex takes and takes. She needed support for herself and her child, so she took from you. You got engaged and she left but took the ring you gave her. Now she has moved on to a new, fresh source of attention. She may soon grow bored with that and will move on, leaving a path of destruction in her wake.
I would keep doing the self work, and not contact her anymore. You sound like a giver and she sounds like a taker. Keep in mind that when she senses that you are moving on, she will be back to take and take.
It is what narcissists do.
I hope you find someone who is worthy of all you have to offer. Who doesn’t challenge you to be better” because they already think you’re great.
Meanwhile, find joy in the little things-the sunrise, the birds chirping, when someone holds a door for you, a great cappucino and the foam design on top. Listen to babies laugh. YouTube videos of puppies and children, animal rescues. Fill your spirit with joy. Tire yourself out during the day so you are exhausted at night.
Don’t give up hope. You are already loved, my dear.
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 