Dear Lea:

It is that time of the day when I am not that focused, so I  will respond to part of your recent post, and to the rest- I will reply tomorrow. As to your last paragraph, “so being interested in a romantic way to someone is a trigger to anxiety? And therefore withdrawing himself from a ‘relation’/love interest…”?

Clearly, from what you shared, he is scared of being close to a woman, in his mind he jumps straight to: she wants to marry me! (if I remember correctly). I imagine, with the intensity of his fear- his emotional withdrawal is probably immediate, similar to withdrawing your hand from a hot stove!

Fear wins over feelings of love every time. Animals in nature always stop any and all affectionate activities when they sense danger, immediately, and either run away, or play dead of fight the danger.  He senses that you want romance, and immediately any and all loving feelings run away, gone!

anita