Dear Alisha:

“I never feel stressed about my family problems”- but the stress is there inside you, even though you don’t feel it.

“I’ve never felt a close connection with (family)”- but you did, long ago. I suppose you forgot that you did, you forgot how close you felt, how needy of your mother you used to be.

That early life need for your mother, for your father, the closeness you felt to them, the acute stress you experienced when they were not there for you-  you repressed all these emotional experiences, pushing them down under your awareness. I know this kind of repression, this is what I did as a child. Children do that automatically.

I am guessing that like any child who felt alone, you reached out to your mother, and maybe to your father as well, repeatedly, again and again, trying to get their attention, but all your efforts failed, so you gave up and stayed away from them ever since, in your room, in front of the computer.

anita