Dear Alisha:

You are welcome. I understand that your recent post may be your good bye post (“This may be good bye”).

“If you do have any advice on how to push these thoughts out at least temporarily, please do let me know.. now my mind is flooding“-

– my good-bye advice on the matter of your “ROCD Or d I not love him?” obsessive thinking is the following:

1. When your mind gets flooded with obsessive thinking, slow down the flood by playing any one of Mark William’s mindful meditations, all available online.

2. Do “The Slowed Down Thinking Exercise” which I found on new- synapse. com. Here is what it says: “It’s time to slow down that fear-based thinking! When we are hyped up or keyed up, we tend to think at a fast pace with a high level of urgency. We may feel as if our thoughts are racing out of control or going round and round in circles. Of course, this is  not a natural speed or rhythm associated with a normal, relaxed thought process… invite ourselves to slow down the speed of our thinking; to invite the brain to fall into a lower gear and operate at a more natural pace…

Under “Instructions” it reads: “When you notice you are thinking in a crazy fast way, with racing thoughts or in a chaotic way with too many thoughts at once, pause and relax. Take a deep breath.

“Slow your thoughts to two syllables per in-breath and 2 syllables per out-breath. Example: ‘I-want’ on the in-breath, ‘to go’ on the out-breath, ‘out-side’ on the in-breath’.”

I will paraphrase the rest somewhat: you can slow down a thought by thinking it in parts: part of the thought while inhaling, the next part while exhaling, etc. For example, you can think the following thought I am slowing my mind, this way: I am while inhaling, slow-ing while exhaling, and my mind while inhaling again.

As you think, enunciate each word clearly, stretch the syllables, focus on the words of the particular thought.

Here is an “Ultra Slowed Down Thinking Exercise”- it is about slowing down the thought: I am slowing down  my thoughts, even more:

Breathing In: Iiiiiiiiiii,    Breathing Out: Aaaaaammmmmm,     Breathing In: Sloooooooooow,    Breathing Out: iiiiiiiinnnngggg, Breathing In: Myyyyyyyyy , Breathing Out: Thouuuuuuughtttttssss.

My comment: this exercise literally slows down your nervous system, including your brain, and the rest of your body. It works! The solution to your obsessive ROCD thinking is not to .. think more and more.. but less and less, to slow down. It will probably feel easier for you to continue to give in to the fast pace thinking (thinking and thinking about the particular obsession of the moment), and it will feel difficult to slow down. But the solution to obsessive thinking is never to think more and faster. The way to help yourself is to slow down.

anita