Rose,

Thank you yet again for taking the time to reply to my post! I’m so grateful that I stumbled upon Tiny Buddha. People like you and Anita are saviors.

And, yes, I agree that the push-pull nature of the relationship with my ex is ultimately an unhappy one. Think it is amplified for me because, while she claims she wants me to continue to have a place in her son’s life, she makes little effort to maintain that relationship. I’m sure she would argue that I could take the initiative to call, but I know the weekdays are busy, and she may be with her new beau on the weekends. Ultimately, I must be pragmatic and move on as she claims have done. (I shouldn’t use the word “claim” and she said it last December; however, I think she enjoys having me available in a sense when she is lonely or wants to chat with a friend.)

Yes, living here in this small town does afford me the opportunity to work on myself. While I have perused the dating apps on those lonely nights here, the dating pool is more of a puddle. This is ultimately a good thing because I have often escaped into relationships, only to have them end with more hurt and good wishes. In my reply to Anita, I see my counselor this Tuesday, so I will address with her the points you both have made here. I’m beyond tired of existing with so much left unresolved in my mind and soul.

I’m glad you have come to a resolution of sorts with your friend. It’s difficult because friendships can be so fleeting, and we simply want to connect to other humans. Ultimately pragmatism must win over emotions.