Thanks @Sammy for the reassurance! It’s useful to read about your experience. I agree, NC is the way to go for me too – lesson learned the hard way in this one, trying to keep casually in touch for a few months after, very detrimental to healing.

I don’t think she adds anything to my life that other friends don’t.  Of course I loved the connection we had at one point but that is no longer there. I think trying to be friends, or even keep in casual contact with her would cause more negative feelings than positive – not because I have feelings for her or find her attractive any longer, I don’t think I do, just that it would remind me of the hurt of the breakup. I guess it really depends on the circumstances, as thinking about it I have managed to keep a solid friendship with someone I tried dating for a while after we had been friends for many years, but I think that is because we had that base of friendship first and the decision not to date anymore was very mutual. I did not have nearly as strong feelings as I did here, nor did I get dumped out of the blue.

Seem to have answered my own ponderings! Also just read an article that said that running into someone previously important to you unexpectedly triggers the flight or fright response, so the physiological reaction I experienced is to be expected. Brains eh!

Hope you are feeling ok Sammy. Been good to read that you have been making so much progress and got yourself into a good routine rather than drinking. Well done!