Dear Carrie:

You are welcome, and thank you for expressing empathy for me.

“I am very very angry at what has been done to me that I cannot get back”- I understand your anger, it is a valid anger.

“I was never shown what it means to be a good mother”- you were shown how to be a bad mother: don’t repeat your mother’s ways, and you will be a way better mother for that.

“I mourn not being able to give her those relationships with family”- your daughter’s relationship with you is the most important relationship in her life, way more important than her relationships with family members who do not live with her.  Make your relationship with your daughter a healthy, loving one, and she will be more fortunate than most.

It was a good move on your part, to make it so that your daughter is closer to her father, because her father is stable and a good father (?).

Is there an outdoor meetup place in your area, such as a coffee place where people socially distance and socialize?

“I feel a very sick and twisted bond with my mother that makes me ill… I am mostly just very confused and looking for answers and I am mourning a relationship that never existed“-

-will you elaborate on the four items I italicized above? If you do, I will read and respond when I am back to the computer.

“if you want to share anything more about your story, please do”- I want your thread to be about you and your story, not about my story. But if you have specific questions for me, questions that may help you understand your own situation better, feel free to ask me.

I will be away from the computer and back in about 13 hours from now.

anita