Dear miyoid:

Don’t worry about not following my suggestions. When I suggest something, it is only a suggestion for you to accept or reject, and I feel fine that you rejected my recent suggestion, really. You are welcome to “complain about stuff” here on your thread anytime.

What you described in your recent post fits what is described under Separation Anxiety Disorder in children and in adults.

According to healhtline. com/ health/ separation anxiety in adults, “Separation anxiety isn’t only seen in children. It can also be seen in adults. Adults with separation anxiety have extreme fear that bad things will happen to important people in their lives…  People with this disorder may be socially withdrawn, or show extreme sadness or difficulty concentrating when away from loved ones… common symptoms include: .. *difficulty sleeping away from a loved one for fear that something will happen to them *depression or anxiety attacks related to (separation)”.

Another website, exploring your mind. com/ separation anxiety disorder in adults, reads: “Separation anxiety can stem from childhood. More specifically, it can be related to the individual’s first bonds of attachment… The likelihood that you’ll develop separation anxiety disorder as an adult is much higher if you were diagnosed with separation anxiety disorder as a child”.

Another website the ravive. com/ therapedia/ separation anxiety disorder, reads that according to the DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th edition), symptoms of the disorder are:  “*Unusual distress at the discussion or experience of being parted from their attachment figure *Excessive fears that harm will befall their attachment person *Persistent worry of an unexpected event that could lead to separation from the attachment figure *Refusal to leave the attachment figure *Excessive fear of being alone *Nightmares about separation *Anxiety about sleeping and being separated from the attachment figure *Physical complaints when separation is immanent.

“Children with anxiety disorder may be clingy, follow parents around the house, and unable to sleep alone… Separation anxiety disorder was originally viewed as a childhood disorder. It is now recognised as an adult disorder as well, and 36.1% of adults with Separation Anxiety had separation anxiety that began in childhood…

“It may lead to impairment in the ability to complete housework, personal and social impairment, and work problems. People with separation anxiety are more likely to have another anxiety disorder or mood disorder…. Children with separation anxiety often appear withdrawn, sad and are unable to focus when apart from their attachment person”.

Notice how what you wrote Dec 29-30 in regard to your reaction to separation as an adult (from this boyfriend) and as a child (from your parents/ mother) fits this diagnosis (the italic indicates the present, regular print indicates your childhood): “It hit hard. I basically felt like a little kid… I cried a lot…. I don’t remember focusing on school ever, during middle school.. I was distracted, didn’t feel like doing anything. That was the case every time I was abandoned again… I don’t feel the strength to do anything… All I can (do) is finish work today, go home, lay in bed and cry. He waited till I was asleep yesterday… I recall not being able to sleep in the past. My mom used to try to put me to sleep… I suddenly wake up and realize she’s not there… After I find her at the kitchen, I try to express my worries and she tries to put me to sleep again. And this repeats n repeats… I feel weak, too weak to plan something. I can only try to continue stay alive“.

What do you think and how do you feel???

anita