Dear Cinnamon635:

You shared earlier this month, Dec 5, that you were unemployed and living with your parents (“I am living with my folks so I don’t have to worry about bills”). I am assuming that you are still living with them. You shared that they “can be passive-aggressive and do guilt trip”, and at one point expected you to give them a third of your paycheck.

And you asked: “is one (always) obligated to give their parent/ parents money?… Is there a way to say no I can’t afford to contribute a certain amount each month without a row?… are children obligated to tell their parents how much they earn?”-

– my answers: As an adult-child you are not obligated to tell your parents how much you earn, and you are not obligated to give them any money. As a tenant in anyone’s house, you are obligated to pay a reasonable rent and utilities (water, electricity, etc.).

This means that you have two options: (1) live with your parents as a tenant and pay them rent and utilities, or (2)  rent a room/ share a house elsewhere, and pay rent there.

Let’s say that elsewhere (#2 option) the rent asked is $300 per month, and your parents (#1 option) want you to pay them $500 per month for similar accommodations. If I was you, I would choose option # 2.

Just as your parents’ attitude toward you is business (wanting your money), make your attitude toward them business as well: pay them rent in the amount that is comparable to the rental market where you live (pay them less if you work for them, as in doing their cleaning, cooking, etc.). If they want more that the comparable rent—> find another place to live, if possible.

Thank you for the Happy New Year wishes and I wish you the same. You are welcome to post again and continue this discussion.

anita