Dear Timepassages2070:

I am not very focused currently, so I may not answer all the questions you brought up or otherwise attend to all that you brought up in your recent post.

1. “Do you think she is indeed engaging, or was engaging in, sexual affairs with other men? And, if so, why?”-

– I thought that maybe she has engaged in sexual affairs because (1)  you wrote that she told you that “she could never imagine dating, or trusting, anyone again but she is a human being and human beings have needs“- unless she talked to you about emotional/ non-sexual needs before or after this sentence, then it.. sounds like she was talking about sexual needs, given that she does not have sex with her husband, (2) she indicated to you that “she had almost crossed a line with another male friend”- depending on her “line”, this means that she was in a somewhat sexual situation with a man that could have gone farther, (3) “another male friend who was trying to meet up with her when he was in town and she mentioned that he had become annoying and was sending her emails, and even songs, expressing his feelings for her”- could be part of the story, not the whole story. The whole story may be- I am bringing up possibilities here, not certainties- that she was sexual with this man from time to time, and that’s why he kept pursuing her, sending her songs.. and could be that she was annoyed with him when he wanted to have sex with her on a particular day when she didn’t feel like it, or was busy, (4) if she is indeed “excruciatingly beautiful” not only in your eyes, but in others’, well…

2. “Also, why would our friendship have caused her ‘stress’?”- the email you sent her, the one you labeled a “freak out” email, caused her stress. After that email, she sent you her last email where she wrote about going “back to being casual, and relaxed friends again”- she wrote “relaxed friends”, so I thought that she viewed you at that point as a not-relaxed/ stressful friend.

“I know in my bones that there was a very strong connection happening between us”, you wrote. Where do you think that strong connection was leading to, where did you want it to take the two of you?

* I will be away from the computer for awhile.

anita