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Dear Emily:
Again, the story you shared is heartbreaking. I am so sorry that you suffered so much in your three decades of life.
You shared the following in your two posts (I will be estimating ages and making some assumptions): your father was a crack addict who spent most of your childhood in jail. You dropped out of high school in the ninth grade, at about 15 years old, and had your first baby at about 17.
For ten years you were a stay at home mom and care giver for your son who suffered from severe cerebral palsy and epilepsy, about 100 seizures per day, needing machinery to breathe and eat. For as long as your son lived, you received government assistance. You had two relationships with men who didn’t love you, and a second child in 2015, the same year that your mother died unexpectedly in her sleep.
Because you no longer received government assistance since 2018, you had to look for work, not having a work history to put on your resume. Currently, at 30, your father is in jail, your family “doesn’t help each other”, and you have no friends. You are a single mother of a healthy six year old child working as a security guard, reading motivational books and visiting tiny buddha to elevate your mood when you are down.
Your goals and interests are: (1) to heal from depression and anxiety (“I need to heal because the depression and anxiety affect my income and current relationship with my 6 yr old”), (2) to lose weight, get fit, and practice yoga, (3) to further your education/ career possibilities by taking the GED: General Educational Development tests, a group of 4 subjects tests that is an alternative to the U.S. high school diploma, and (4) to find a hobby like cooking or drawing.
There will be things I can suggest to you regarding your goals that may be helpful to you. I hope other members will reply and be helpful to you as well. At any time you choose, you can bring up a topic that concerns you, for example, you can bring up your relationship with your six year old which is affected by your depression and anxiety and describe how it is affected. After you do that, I will reply attending to that topic. Anytime you want to post so to vent, to express how you feel- please do, and I will reply every time so to let you know someone is listening, someone wants to read more from you, about you and your life.
anita