Dear Anita,

yes, thank you. 🙂 I would like to continue our conversation.

“You stood up for your mother for years, being nothing less than a hero, for her sake.” – I hope so, although I do know that I have caused her so much worry over the years because I still cannot let go of the past and forgive those girls. I am so insecure that it is harming not only my mental but also physical health. Somehow those girls always found the way to make me “the bad one.” And I believed them, I still do. I feel guilty even though I never did anything to hurt them. I did vent to a couple of my other friends about them and that is the thing I worry about the most – like venting is worse than their actions towards me. But since they would not listen to me and stop when I asked them to, I needed to let it out somehow. I never discussed their personal lives or secrets, but I did complain about their behavior instead of confronting them more than once until they understood. It eats me up inside that I came out a worse person than them – if they didn’t have anything to say about me, they would make things up so that they could argue with me and win.