Dear Satya:

His parents did not want him to marry you. He married a woman they wanted him to marry. Following his mother’s death, he wants to have you back in his life and marry you as well.

“He says that he will always be there and want me in his life… How can I stop feeling upset when I see him with her”- the problem is that his current wife will also always be there in your life (if you accept his offer). I don’t have an answer to how you can stop feeling upset over having her always there.

“He says that he’ll… convince everyone how he wants me in his life”- he failed to convince his parents that he wanted you in his life (he “couldn’t say no” to them). Maybe he will also fail to convince everyone else that he should add you as a second wife.

“Am I thinking straight? I can’t lose him”- thinking that you can’t lose him = not thinking straight: you already lost him when he married another woman and you survived. You are able to live without him.

“I can’t imagine a life without him”- then imagine a life where you are not a second wife, where your husband is married only to you. Imagine that although you were born to “a dysfunctional family”, you don’t have to volunteer into a new dysfunctional family (a man, two wives who are upset, two sets of children, envy and jealousy, etc.).

anita