Morning Anita,

Yes, I too feel quite sad and disappointed about things. I felt like there was possibly something there for her too, but perhaps there was not, or there was and our disparity in our ages or some other factor(s) caused her to silence any budding feelings she may have had. While she let me in to some pieces of her life, I never felt like she really wanted to let me in to see the “real” her (or her whole self). I know her father is a recovered/ing alcoholic and her mother battled–from what she said–some intense mental health issues years ago. I’ve tried to look at things as you’ve and my friends have mentioned: her battle with anorexia, the drinking, smoking/vaping. I likely dodged what could have been a painful bullet down the road for the chance of companionship or some semblance of a relationship. She too attends regular counseling, so who knows what she battles as well.

She has messaged me at work a few times but it’s always benign. Question about a task, what she’s made for lunch, student load forgiveness by the Biden administration. She hasn’t acknowledged my email and I do not feel she will, which is fine. I needed to get all of that all. While she is in many ways an “old soul,” she is still young and not yet emotionally mature enough to talk about it. Or she simply solidified the idea of a platonic friendship in her mind after we returned from the cabin and her heart and mind is set and she has reverted back to a casual friendship: Fun and carefree without the need to dig too deep and talk about anything serious or work connect beyond the cursory.

Ryan