Dear Nar:

You are welcome. To be able to offer you advice, I need to better understand what kind of advice you are asking for:

1) “I was looking for an advice to build healthy friendships even with not always 100%”- No person is 100% stable and therefore we all have to befriend imperfectly stable people. Problem is that the woman you described is way, way less than 100%, isn’t she?

Do you want advice on how to build healthy friendships with imperfect people, or do you want advice on how to build healthy friendships with emotionally disturbed people, like the woman you described?

2) “the reason why I posted this is because I want to be able to have a way/ strategy to remain open with people but at the same time not get so attached in an unhealthy way, but a healthy way”-  you distinguished between getting attached in an healthy way and getting attached in an unhealthy way. Can you define for me healthy attachment vs unhealthy attachment?

In your original post, you wrote regarding people in your life: “I care really a lot and get deeply involved”- were you referring to an unhealthy attachment in this quote?

anita