Dear Felis:

You are welcome. “It was more demanding from my side.. why is it so hard for you to pick up my calls.. hope you could come even though you are sick.. I am very vocal about my feelings… I talked to my family and counselor.. they told me to be kind to myself and accept every human being has their own flaws”-

– yes, every human being has his/ her own flaws, therefore be kind to yourself and be kind to others, others like your then boyfriend: be vocal to him about your feelings, but be gently vocal, not harshly vocal.

After the breakup, you “could not eat properly.. could not be myself anymore”- when attached, and then separated from the object of attachment, part of you is still glued to the other person, and it takes time to dissolve that glue and get the rest of yourself back to you.

“is it still okay if I cling to the hope of him coming back one day?”- yes, it is okay, it is part of you being kind/ gentle with yourself: to give that glue more time to dissolve. Hoping that he will be  back is giving your attachment to him time to dissolve.

You will be okay, Felis. Many millions of women and men all over the world were very attached to romantic others and then.. after some time, amazingly- they got attached to new romantic interests. Difficult to imagine now, isn’t it.. and yet it happens on a regular basis.

anita