Dear Ryan:

Yes, it makes sense that for her too, “closeness and intimacy can be overwhelming”.

Closeness scares us when early in life a person we felt very, very close to hurt us. Like I suggested to you earlier: before you felt distant from your mother, you felt very close to her (all young children feel very close to their mother). She then hurt you by ignoring you, not seeing you, rejecting you, and/ or otherwise, and you learned to be scared of closeness. So, you want closeness and you are scared of it at the same time. That early hurt needs to be processed for the fear to lessen.

anita