Dear Katie:

You are welcome. I am glad that you are finally aware that your ex-boyfriend of three years raped you, on top of abusing you in other ways. What you shared about him in this March 2021 thread fits with what you shared about him in past threads. For example, on December 20, 2017, you shared about him: “He looks at my phone all the time… he ALWAYS finds something to get upset about.. He also gets extremely jealous.. he’d say ‘well I know you guys used to text. What did you talk about with him. You talk to boys don’t you’… he doesn’t like my friends.. he does not want me friends with them.. I used to distance myself from my friends because of it”.

In January 7, 2018, you shared: “I was a past straight-A-student.. I used to be captain of a club, was on speech and debate, did community service… I stopped doing all that so I could focus on… my boyfriend. I wanted to make our relationship good and healthy… We always fought, were on and off, horrible. I promised to dedicate my senior year of high school to fixing our relationship…  I told him.. ‘I am not going to have this horrible, unhealthy relationship in 2018…’ he begged me and I took him back and HE CHANGED. He changed a little.. Then today.. it all went down. He saw something in my phone.. and flipped.. ”

In April 21, 2018, you shared: “He kept getting mad at me for dumb things. He wanted me to sleepover his house but I said no because I had school the next day. He got so mad at me and threatened to break up saying ‘if you loved me you’d sleep in my bed tonight’.. Then last night.. he accused me of being with a guy.. Then yesterday I went to hang  out with my friends and he got so mad”.

* As to where were the parents of a high school student who was “locked in (the boyfriend’s) bedroom for days at a time while he was at work during the summer”, the answer is in your August 1, 2018 post: “Basically, my parents have been very uninvolved in my life. My dad has a very high position in a company so he is always working.. I am not close with him. My mom is home all the time but she deals with a lot of problems such as depression and anxiety… Neither of my parents have been around to guide me or my siblings. I always knew this but didn’t think it was a big deal… I’ve always let my boyfriend walk over me and never had the strength to break up with him. I believe some of that can be explained by the lack of guidance and lack of support my parents provided me… I just go with the flow when with most people. I am always unsure of myself and never take charge”-

– It all makes sense to me, Katie. I think that you seeing an attorney is a good idea, so that you can become aware of your legal options. If your attorney thinks it is useful, you can make a timeline of the three year relationship: what happened when. You can use the information you shared in your threads to put together such a timeline.

anita