Good evening Peter thank you so very much for your reply. I understand what you’re saying. It is true that many times I confuse my goals with my desires and dreams. I can only trace it back to my upbringing. Ever since I was a child I was an over achiever. I knew that if I wanted good grades I had to study hard so I did and I achieved that goal. Then the same happened when I wanted to lose weight. I had to eat properly exercise, so I did that and I achieved their goal as well. I wanted to speak better English I knew I had to practice so I did that and I achieved that goal as well. There are many more examples I like that but I don’t want to bore you with it. And so now that my goal is to have better relationships in my life my understanding was that putting forward the work that’s needed that would suffice. And there are many examples where I did put the work but it just didn’t work. Granded, maybe it was the wrong choice of people and we just didn’t match as personalities. Though it still has me questioning whether or not I am doing something wrong and more specifically but maybe I’m trying too hard and that’s what’s putting people off and they disappear. And at the age of 27 I’m really tired of being the only one in a relationship be it friendship or love to put the work in. I am tired of being the one to initiate everything and every time.