Dear Sofioula:

Regarding parents and age, “Let me know what you think on this”- I agree with you. I believe that it is most important that parents do not become parents unless and until they are able to successfully manage their fear, anger and stress level. An older parent able to manage her/ his emotions is 1000 times preferable to a younger parent who is not able to do so.

Regarding un-muting yourself, and standing up for you, the muted and oppressed,  with fierce passion, “how do I start doing this? How can I finally be strong enough not to worry about what others think of me?”-

-I will answer this using what you posted in your most recent post, angrily writing about the two most powerful others in your life, whose thoughts about you worry you: your parents.

“Why do I always have to GIVE ME ADVICE?”- start giving them (your father, your mother, separately or together) advice. Every time they give you advice, tell them: now that you brought this up (whatever it is), I noticed that you did this or that and it didn’t work for you, yet you keep doing it. What if you chose to do something else? I think that doing this would be a better choice for you…

“Why do they always have to run and PROTECT ME?”- start protecting them. Every time they run to protect you, tell them something that will fit this message: stop running, you are hurting your joints, you don’t want to need a hip or knee replacement surgery!

“Why do they always have to STRESS ABOUT MY FAILURES..?”- tell them stress is bad for them, and that they should try to accept their own failures and stop worrying about yours.

anita