Dear ninibee:

“if my salad was an achievement, I not only did not want to share the news of my great achievement with her, I wanted to avoid the possibility of her seeing it or commenting on it”-

– likely because at a very early age you proudly showed her an achievement, and her reaction was negative, and it may have happened repeatedly.

An example: a child returns from kindergarten school with a drawing she made, lots of lines and circles of different crayon colors. The child is excited about her ability to produce something so colorful and beautiful. She proudly hands it to her mother, expecting her mother to be as excited, but the mother looks at the drawing for just a moment and and puts it down on the table. Later on, the child sees her drawing crumpled in the garbage. The child is devastated and she is not likely to present her mother with a drawing again.  She may not feel like drawing again.

anita