Thanks for responding.  I stayed in my marriage out of loyalty and unselfishness.  I wanted to take care of him because he was sick and I loved him.  I had trouble setting healthy boundaries with him.  His behavior became more erratic toward the end of our marriage.  I left when it became unsafe.  There were many good years, but he definitely abandoned me emotionally.  As you can see, this wound is being re-opened with the long distance relationship.  I am actively working on this.  I actually like being alone and cherish my alone time.  However, I also want a partner.  I don’t think it’s selfish to have needs and wants.  I think it’s dishonest to pretend you don’t have any or that yours don’t matter for extended periods of time.  Your thoughts?

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