Dear Anna:

“Why would he project his anger towards his mother on me? Would that mean that he sees me as a kind of partner/ maternal figure rather than a partner/ friend?”- no. People with a deep conflict in regard to a parent, will project that parent into multiple people throughout their lives, male and female, friends,  romantic partners, co-workers, strangers on the street, as long as something about that other person reminds one of his/ her parent in looks or in behavior. It could something minor, like the way a person smiles.

In regard to your second paragraph, I understand better now.

He started anti-depressant medications three weeks ago, that’s recently, but long enough to see if the medication he started made any difference. It often takes a few months before a doctor figures out, with the the patient’s feedback, which medication works and at what dosage. Are you aware of what is happening in regard to his medication, if he experienced any improvement, if he is attending appointments with his doctor and if he follows the doctor’s instructions?

In regard to him ghosting you, not every depressed man ghosts his girlfriend, so that’s not an inherent part of depression. I suggested that he may be ghosting you when he feels angry at you. Did you notice him expressing anger at you in the past, before ghosting you, or at any other time?

* I will be back to the computer in about 14 hours from now.

anita