Dear anonymous03:

The pandemic situation in India is very concerning, more than in any other country, at this time. In the U.S., there are enough vaccines for everyone at this time but lots of people don’t want to take it, which is very frustrating to me, and to anyone who thinks scientifically about the situation, instead of politically or whatnot. As I understand it, there is talk that the U.S. and other countries will send their unused vaccines to India. I hope this happens soon!

I am sorry to read that your mother still scolds you. I wonder what will happen if .. you scold her back, in the same tone and manner that she scolds you.

The reason parents abuse their children, verbally and otherwise, is because parents are bigger and stronger than their children (similar to predators in nature attacking those who are smaller and weaker than themselves).

When the abused child grows up into an adult, the now-adult still perceives herself to be small and weak, and the abusive parent- to be big and strong, not realizing that this is no longer the case. If indeed you are now big and strong, maybe even bigger and stronger than your mother, then if you show her your size and strength, she will back away  (like in nature, when a predator backs away when confronted by the size and strength of a potential prey).

“About understanding that I was not a naughty kid and it wasn’t my fault when she scolded me, it’s really, really hard for me to change that. I  mean I believed for the longest time that I got the scolding because I deserved it. Are there any ways I can try?”-

– Yes: when you have the opportunity to observe a parent scolding her young child, look at that young child’s face, look at the hurt on the child’s face: that hurt is not naughty, is it? It is the hurt of a child who loves her mother more than anything, a child who desperately wants her mother to love her, and yet, what she receives instead- is scolding.

Look at the face of the mother, look at the anger on her face. In that anger is her desire to hurt her young, loving child. When she scolds her child, she is hurting her child, and in so doing, it’s her, the mother, who is being naughty (as in behaving badly), not the child.

anita

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